sembreak na

a lousy mouse
a straining position
11:00 pm
cellphone - alarm time: 5:30
the seconds of the clock ticking
Wolfgang sings in my head
thinking for something, some words, some letters where my fingers would lay
toothbrush beside me
the sink calling me
the bed yearning for me
my eyes pulled towards each other
where can i lay my restless head, restless hand?
porn sites lingering, awaiting for the white arrow

HAHAHA

am i suffering from DEMENTIA?( i don't even know what this word means, at least it
sounds
battered,
abused,
fucked :)

no plans for sembreak yet but STILL not too late

i wish i would dream about you again! be there. please. i miss you. you're prettier than Megan Fox.

oi JED! pabasa naman ng blog mo.. nakaPRIVATE ka kaya.

Baha sa Baguio

woohhh.. blogging nanaman. titwaa!

Wolfgang

recently, i downloaded the discography of Wolfgang. i was overwhelmed by their song Atomica. i cant imagine how these people sounded like gods. damn gods. rock gods. i cant help but compare them against today's music.

emo. funk. alternative.

shit. tae. basura. they dont pay respect to the rock gods who paved the way of solid rock and roll. that does not only concern their music alone but more so.. their lyrics. wolfgang is really a legend. and they would always be. i dont care if other people would label me decadent or limited because they rock my brain, my soul, my body, my shit. damn it. they're fucking good.

On Writing

recently, again.. i read a website http://languageisavirus.com. i searched for the styles in writing because i want to improve, lagyan ng laman at style ang aking mga compositions.. but i was astonished about what i saw. there are no definite styles in writing. what is important is the ability of the writer to express his thoughts, emotions, and ideas. regardless of the way how it is told as long as it could be comprehensible. it's okay. pwede na sa youngblood.. toink!

and this is what i want in language. language is already a limitation. and why do the fucking english teachers still filter the ideas translated to flesh in papers. this is a free country! why would you like us to answer the questions you ask if you already know the answer. and the answer you know is what you would like to see in your fucking exams. damn you. everyone is a unique individual. we have different thoughts and ideas. moreover, different point-of-views!

another thing, there is a tendency for me, actually it is not a tendency but it is a disease. i hate reading again what i have written. shit. i hate that attitude. i dont learn from my mistakes anymore. grrrr. i hate that. :(

that is why i am always shocked when i read my compositions again.. it is as if they were written by another job who is in a seance.

tama na siguro to.. hanggang sa muli!

ang saranggola ni pepe

dahil ngayon ay Agosto pa, hayaan niyo akong magblog ng wikang Filipino, ang wikang pinakamalapit sa ating lahat.

buwan ng agosto - buwan ng wika..

ngunit hindi para sa akin!
it was a busy month for me.

nagsimula ang buwan sa pinakamadugong exams na aking naranasan sa satanang buong buhay ko. hindi ko inaasahang me chemistry pala kami - ang aking pinakasusuklam na subject. meron rin kaming exam sa salvation history.. kahit na ito ay masaya, very objective naman ang naging exams namin dito. never ko pang nagustuhan ang memory exams. daig ko pa ang may alzheimer's sa memorya. ito ay hindi dahil mahina ang aking memory, ngunit mahina ang aking determinasyon upang magaral. parati kong sinasabi sa sarili ko na ang pinakamababang sangay ng intellect ay ang rote memory. (mabuhay ang mga gurong naniniwala sa prinsipyong ito, sana naging guro ko na lang kayo!) magagawa ng isang bata ang magmemorize ng sangkatutak na linya sa isang tula. kung totoo nga ito, anong pinagkaiba nating college students sa kanila???

shemay, nakaasar.
sabi nila repetition is the proof of understanding.. sino bang toklats ang nagsabi nun? tama nga naman. pero, hindi indicated dun na repetition na word-by-word. sa reasoning pa rin ako saludo! thinking. reasoning. ito ang nagbibigay ng kaluluwa sa mga ideya ng isang studyante. magagawa ng isang studyante na matapos ang pagaaral ng hindi ito gamitin, pero naging tapat nga ba siya sa tawag ng liwanag, ng talino, ng dignidad ng tao - ang pagiisip? sa aking reliazation na ito, sana nawa ay maisip ko na mahalaga ang mga exams na ito at hindi magrason ng magrason na me mga bagay na hindi importante at not-worth-studying subjects.. pinagaaral ako ng mga magulang ko at wasto lamang na bigyan ko ang dignidad ng kanilang paghihirap sa pagbibigay ng lahat ng aking makakaya ang mga exams na ito.

sinapak nanaman ako ng pananaw ng nanay ko..
"ang pagsisisi pa rin ay nasa huli." ngayon nagsisisi pa rin ako sa mga ginawa ko sa recent exams. nagsisisi rin ako kung bakit ako nagsisisi dahil tapos na rin lamang ang exams at wala na akong magagawa.. marahil meron pa, me revalida pa naman eh. whew. kaya nga astig bumagsak eh, natutunan ng taong muling tumayo. wahahaha.

august 1, 2009 - guess who?
dilaw na araw, tila parang may hepatitis ang lahat ng tao. sa bagay, nakidalamhati sila sa pagkamatay ng isang taong di ko lubusang kilala. ang inquirer rin ay nagkulay yellow na mahigit na isang linggo.. sana meron pa ring taong tumatawag sa mga pilipino na magkaisa.. napakaganda nga naman talaga ang makita ang mga taong magkumpol kumpol at sumisigaw ng isang kalooban. makapanindig balahibo ring makita ang mga pilipino na tumatayo pa rin para sa kanilang paninindigan sa dapat na iparating ng totoong demokrasya.. tila kay sarap pakinggan ang iisang boses ng taong sumisigaw ng kapayapaan at pagmamahalan.

me kadugtong pa ito..

wowow

before making this blog, the author sat on the porch outside the computer shop sending up a fag. he saw a girl beside him undressing her pants and slowly a yellowish liquid dripped under the girl. dropping her jaw, she saw the author.. reaching for the smoke in awe. she is not a chick nor a fool. she's a two-year old girl.

awe is the beginning of philosophy. that is why if toddlers were reasonable enough, they could have been the greatest philosophers in the 3rd planet called earth. why? because they are always amazed of the things around them. how many people are amazed when it rains? all of the students maybe coz classes are postponed. but who would give a damn in reflecting how wonderful is the rain. tiny droplets one-by-one drop to the earth in a synchronize movement.. that out from the atmosphere water could be made. from these, one could doubt why the does not the rain come down in a big splash instead of tiny droplets? why does it taste like the tap water.. not coke?

as men grow old, awe is brainwashed from their minds. why? because one is afraid to look into the mysteries of life itself.

one says that awe is just for kids.

now, think again. awe will lead one to authentic living.

Transporter

i watched Transporter 1 to 3 lately.

for those who dont know the movie. the movie goes like this.. monsieur frank(jason statham) was a retired military general. he was literally tired of working for his country because the people whom he served turned out to be the bad guys. because of that he became a transporter. a medium for bad guys to transport their "packages."

what i am trying to point out here is that frank lives his life by rules. whenever he broke those rules.. he becomes involved in the crime. eventually, he solves the crime by using the same rules.

i will never forget the wisdom of the seminary fathers taught to us like a prayer. "keep the rules and the rules will keep you." true enough. not only in the seminary but to the whole world respectively.

what is the law of life? simple.. do good; detest what is evil.

the reason why people do what is evil is that it gives one a short-time happiness, fulfillment, and joy; And the reason why people dont do what is right is that people dont give them the reason to do so.

i have never thought of writing the above pharagraph.. but it came out of my head like a mushroom. dont worry, i will ponder upon it more. hahaha. pasensya na lang.

the world is just amazing

im gonna make this blog in respect to the world. actually i missed blogging so much. thoughts are teeming in my head but laziness take them away. that is why i am left with these thoughts but they are good.(i think so.)

now i am in a computer shop paying 10 pesos for the half hour of blogging. i could have never imaged myself spending 10(amount equal to 5 sticks) just to blog. i am running out of money by the way. SHIT! im putting too many "I" here. i hate it.

from the past days i have been drinking hard and inhaling hard too. i just love these combination. i leave our house at 4 and sleep wherever my feet would lead me. i wake up at 5am and go to our house. the ride to our house is terrific. it is fucking awesome. believe me.

the world is just AMAZING!

why? gazillions of people live today and people meet another exactly unknown to him/her. the cars, how do they work? the internet? the letters from my mind are now written to the net now being read by you! the alcohol? who made it.. how did the maker find out how it benefited humankind. the cigar? the fag that it produces simply make things wonderful.. the sunlight from heaven.. the stars.. the music made by inspired people.. the people laughing.. the dogs barking..

i just cant put into words how it is damn good.. and people only need to realize the fact that we are made in the image and likeness of God. we are God's sons and daughters! oh come on, live that identity.. be good! (even the cockroaches can do good.. it was the cause of Baygon Corp.)

"ok two minutes na lang po.."

shit asa mood pa naman ako mag blog..

:)

Happy Easter!

thank God it is Easter.

the Easter Tridium for me was the saddest days of the Church. my thoughts of committing suicide were teeming. i could not bare to stomach how sinful the world is. i could not accept the fact that we have done nothing compared to what Jesus Christ has done. and yet, he is a God. a supreme God. the LORD of lords. the ULTIMATE.

pero, di namamatay ang bida..

namatay nga si Jesus temporarily pero nabuhay ulit! parang sinuspense lang tayo, diba?

that is why, the church teaches not that we are sinful the reality of sin. but of the universal salvation that Christ has suffered for us because he loves us so much; and our salvation is not dead but it is a living tradition through the Risen Christ.

how do we apply these in our living?

it is also by resurrection. we resurrect from our old ways, from our sufferings and struggles against sin and the cross, we rise up and gloriously face the world with a new perspective, that is, LOVE.

LOVE that conquers all! even death will not set us apart from Jesus.

H A P P Y E A S T E R!
mabuhay si Hesus.